Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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