The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
