One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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