Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
