Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
