So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
