i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
