ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
