Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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