she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.