Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Well, there goes breastfeeding.

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  (803): I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much! (704): Well, there goes breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/c1mz
  Replies (44) Good night (1072) Bad night (2563)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?

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  (818): Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume? http://tfl.nu/76jw
  Replies (18) Good night (3774) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am

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  (360): there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am http://tfl.nu/on84
  Replies (26) Good night (5876) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.

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  (901): Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight. http://tfl.nu/5qmv
  Replies (12) Good night (4625) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You love me.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  That's because, tragically, I adore whores.

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  (316): You love me. (785): That's because, tragically, I adore whores. http://tfl.nu/7eph
  Replies (29) Good night (8205) Bad night (1610)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions

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  (203): As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions http://tfl.nu/qlm8
  Replies (7) Good night (4201) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?

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  (510): Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night? http://tfl.nu/abjo
  Replies (6) Good night (3468) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.

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  (204): We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk. http://tfl.nu/82pr
  Replies (3) Good night (1716) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.

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  (201): Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys. http://tfl.nu/w09r
  Replies (8) Good night (2046) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.

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  (917): You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year. http://tfl.nu/e5jh
  Replies (4) Good night (1460) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.

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  (207): I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine.... (617): This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs. http://tfl.nu/5fub
  Replies (12) Good night (3051) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.

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  (501): I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho. http://tfl.nu/d92o
  Replies (16) Good night (1452) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.

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  (716): I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender. http://tfl.nu/johq
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.

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  (508): It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming. http://tfl.nu/nix9
  Replies (7) Good night (265) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.

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  (309): I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong. http://tfl.nu/mdfo
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (252)

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