What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
