Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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  (313): That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve. http://tfl.nu/vdk5
  Replies (16) Good night (780) Bad night (2694) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.

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  (760): Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin. http://tfl.nu/jqr4
  Replies (22) Good night (544) Bad night (5081) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.

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  (651): if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call. http://tfl.nu/9x5y
  Replies (39) Good night (885) Bad night (6139) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room

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  (609): im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room http://tfl.nu/jxea
  Replies (22) Good night (673) Bad night (4166) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.

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  (415): Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only. http://tfl.nu/ffub
  Replies (7) Good night (4731) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.

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  (845): she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits. http://tfl.nu/cebt
  Replies (18) Good night (960) Bad night (5751) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?

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  (516): do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ? http://tfl.nu/or6i
  Replies (6) Good night (2630) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.

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  (630): Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus. http://tfl.nu/ls1i
  Replies (4) Good night (1794) Bad night (980) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.

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  (256): The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire. http://tfl.nu/a418
  Replies (3) Good night (890) Bad night (2212) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.

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  (+61): Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you. http://tfl.nu/q4u2
  Replies (13) Good night (2031) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.

  (360): View more from Washington

  It was me.

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  (360): Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who. (360): It was me. http://tfl.nu/kgk9
  Replies (3) Good night (2538) Bad night (354)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July

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  (609): Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July http://tfl.nu/khgw
  Replies (1) Good night (774) Bad night (389)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control

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  (216): i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control http://tfl.nu/rhtt
  Replies (3) Good night (343) Bad night (587)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?

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  (503): Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to? http://tfl.nu/5ylh
  Replies (1) Good night (627) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.

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  (970): Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/2i7x
  Replies (3) Good night (709) Bad night (200) Order T-Shirt

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