Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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