Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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