were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
