I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else