Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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