I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I did not marry a roomba.
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