omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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