I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
