The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
