in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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