I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I need water and some morals
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
