you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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