plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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