whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
