so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
