i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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