literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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