Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
