You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize