Porn is love you can see.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
