OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
