this beer tastes like vomit already
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I love having hate sex.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
