he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
