Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
