So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
