This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We don't watch enough power rangers
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
