A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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