i barfeds in our rink
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
