upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
