so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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