Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
