so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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