K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i already hear my dad disowning me
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize