if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
