I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize