I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize