I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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