You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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