I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
