i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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