Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
