I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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