Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
