how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
