it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
