Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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