he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
