she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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