Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
