The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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