How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
