I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
