you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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