okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
