His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
