I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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