The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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