A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize